Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:6-8

In Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts (2018), author Brené Brown shares about how two values you live is enough. And, it’s worth knowing when you live fully into the values, and when you feel far from your values. In the book, Brené says she knows she’s not living in her values when she feels resentful. 

I know I’m living outside my values when I feel pressure to conform. Sometimes, I become a “yes person” and just say yes because I don’t have the energy to fight for the “no” I really want to say. Other times, I want to be so helpful that I go along for the ride for someone else’s values and realize it’s pulled me from who I am and my natural reactions.

2 Corinthians 9:6-8 rings true when it comes to living outside your boundaries. God says to give what you have decided in your heart to give. And, if you start to become reluctant (perhaps a shade of resentful) or under compulsion (pressure to conform perhaps), it’s time to re-evaluate what you are giving.

I once knew a gal who gave and gave and gave, even beyond what anyone asked her to give. It became clear when she lived outside her values, because even her physical appearance changed. Her shoulders rounded, her eyes sagged with tiredness, and she didn’t laugh as much anymore. She became cheerless.

It’s time to move on to another job (or volunteer role, etc) when you live outside your values. When you cannot give with a cheerful heart, that’s when you know you have given in your heart what you decided to give.

And, if you are skirting just inside your values, when you can still apply your passion with a generous heart, it’s good and wholesome to stay where you are. It doesn’t mean all days are wonderful and full of hearts, stars, and butterflies. However, when the overwhelming feelings are reluctancy and compulsion on a regular basis, consider your options.  

The woman who gave until she couldn’t give anymore left the nonprofit. And, she became healthy again by living within the passion she had and in a way her heart could give fully.

Bibliography

Brown, B. (2018) Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. New York: Random House.

Order Hopelessly Hopeful During Separation, a 28-day devotional for people who are separated from their spouse because of marital struggles.

© 2024, Mollie Bond. All rights reserved. Originally published at www.molliebond.org.