Hopelessly Hopeful by Dr. Mollie Bond

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June 11, 2011June 30, 2021 Hopeful_Bond

Negativity

(As seen in the March 2010 Issue of Christian Online Magazine, a site that no longer exists.)

Some of my coworker’s conversations orbit around complaining. Sometimes I can walk away, but in this case I had to stay with my teammates and finish the job. I tried to stay positive, and instead fell silent. Finally my friend says to me, “Isn’t it true that….” I pretended to stick my fingers in my ears and said, “What? I can’t hear you. My ears can’t hear complaining today.” Everyone laughed and went back to work, but I was serious.

How can I live in a negative world, without succumbing to the temptation to rattle off the latest complaint?

1) Stop. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29). When complainers have the floor, don’t compete for the limelight. “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.” (Proverbs 13:3). You are in charge of your mouth, not others’ mouth. However, it isn’t enough just to not participate and stay silent.

2) Think positively. Just like any other form of temptation, sin starts when we think about it. So even if you are silent during negative conversations, you still involve yourself. Start by not stating your complains, but also take control of your thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:5b says “…we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Take your mind and “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (Romans 12:2a).

3) Then speak positively. “My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the utterance from my heart will give understanding” (Psalm 49:3). This verse not only encourages us to “speak words of wisdom”, but it also gives us insight to where those words come from: the heart. If your heart is not right, your words will be vicious rather than peaceful. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

4) Stick close to God’s Word. “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word” (Psalm 119:9). Without memorizing, reading, obeying and responding to God’s Bible, you will not succeed in keeping negativity out.

5) Focus. In order to keep our mouths clean and our hearts pure, focus on what matters. “Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you” (Proverbs 4:24-25). “Keep corrupt talk far from your lips…” includes keeping your physical distance if possible. If you cannot get away to complainers you can always turn the negative into a positive. “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but thanksgiving” (Ephesians 5:4). Meaning, you can’t stay quiet any longer. Change the subject. Make a lighthearted joke. Take their grumbling, and turn it into a joyful occasion. It won’t be hard to do if you stay focused. No one said it was easy or comes naturally at first. It takes years of practice to “take captive every thought” (2 Corinthians 10:5b), but keep focused.

6) Keep praising. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8). If you don’t have a memory verse, this is the place to start. A little game I play when negativity is around goes like this: I repeat this verse, and then take it one verb at a time. So, for instance, I hear a negative comment about a coworker. Okay, my verse tells me to think about whatever is true. Well, this comment isn’t true, but it is true that she helped me yesterday. Lord, thank you for helpful hands. Okay, now whatever is noble…and I keep going down the list. By the time I get to the end, I’m praising God for things totally unrelated to the original comment, and it snaps my focus right out of negativity.

© 2013, Mollie Bond. All rights reserved. Published at www.molliebond.org.

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